Lost in Paradise
by The Lotus Black
Summary: Part Three. Two years have passed and things have been wonderfully quiet since then, until four children promptly change it all with their mischievous ways. ShadowXSilver Contains OCs.
1. Chapter 1

Here's part three of the Paradise series. Now, unlike the other two, this is written in a different style and everything is relevant, (for the most part), rather than random-ass humors that'll confuse the crap out of you. And, as with the others, **everyone is out of character**, although not as much as they were previously. And, before I forget and confuse the shit out of everyone: **Spenser had a species change**. He's a German Shepherd Dog now. Anyway, you can find an updated picture of him on my DeviantArt account. The narrator also plays a small part in the plot. In short, this story is _much_ different from the other two, and should be a _much_ more enjoyable read.

**Sonic and Co. belong to SEGA/Sonic Team  
****Scourge and Co. belong to Archie/SEGA  
****Spenser, Ellsworth, and Tihocan belong to The Lotus Black  
****Ben belongs to Rewval  
****All other unnamed references belong to their respective owners.**

**Preparations**

"Oh no – There's no way that could fit there."

"I'm telling you it's one hundred and twenty millimeters."

"If that was the case, the barrel would be wider."

"It doesn't need to be. It has to have traction to shoot properly."

"That's not what I meant."

"It's one hundred twenty millimeters!"

"No, it's not!"

"I think I know how to make a damn M1-A1 Abrams! I've been in the military for thirteen years!"

"Hey!" The two arguing creatures were interrupted by a quieter voice, trying to convince them to speak in a similar tone. "Just ask someone later. It's three in the morning and we have visitors coming over in a few hours." The exhausted ivory hedgehog rubbed the sleep from one of his eyes as he talked. It had been two days since he'd had a good night's rest.

"By that time our argument will be settled," the younger of the two spoke up before his master could snap a nasty retort, as he oftentimes did. "I have the manual in my room."

"Then settle it now," he said, leaning against the railing of the stairs. "We all need some rest, so hurry it up."

"Sure thing, Silver." He turned back to the greener hedgehog, who was staring at the incomplete tank gun.

"It's too small."

"That's what she said."

"That's what you're going to be saying when I shove you into that barrel."

"Knock it off!" Silver raised his voice at them. He's never this angry towards others, it's just something about these two that works his nerves. "I'm going back to bed, and you will do the same."

"But-!"

"Now!"

"Spenser doesn't want to go to bed," he whined, oftentimes speaking in third person.

The ivory hedgehog rubbed his temples. "Just, go to bed."

"Right-o!"

"Right-o? No one says that anymore."

"Spenser says it."

"Spenser needs a better vocabulary."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means the two of you are going to bed, _now_."

"Alright, Silver."

The sky was in much better condition than it was two years ago. Occasionally, the sun peeks out though breaks in the darkened sky, allowing new plants to grow in their area. The house they owned, the very same that was destroyed by a bright red spaceship with a yellow hammer and sickle, (Spenser was the one who cut the strange Earth-like design from the outer material of the ship), had been restored. It was twice the size of what it used to be, and the father of the occupant no longer resided there, mainly because of who does.

The house has four adults by the names of Scourge, Spenser, Silver and Shadow. (It is by mere coincidence that all their names begin with 's'.) They are joined by three children between the ages of eight to four, and one infant. Silver, the caretaker of the house, cares for the children with the help of his almost useless husband Shadow. The ebony hedgehog hardly does much, mainly due to the fact that he has absolutely _no_ parenting skills. Therefore, the caretaker's adopted brother, Scourge, (the one who was arguing about how big the barrel of the tank should be), has been forced to care for the other children to lighten the burden. But, since he also has _no_ parenting skills, Spenser, (the rather oblivious German Shepherd Dog), ends up caring for the young housemates.

He does a fairly well job, although oftentimes forgets that he is caring for children, and tends to show them inappropriate cartoons, (though he blames the television set for that and states his homeland would never show such atrocities. Needless to say, he hasn't watched much in the United States.) They love his company and squeal 'Uncle Spenser!' when in his presence. He's horrible with children, but reacts rather well when faced with chores, (as he normally pushes them onto the kids.)

So then, what does the husband do? His job is currently to protect his family and assist in guarding the small island alongside the father of his spouse, Ellsworth. The hedgehog, amazingly tall and slender, has grown to like his son-in-law and dislike the yellow nuisance of a dog that often influences the thoughts of young children with his crazy stories. But, back to the husband, Shadow. He is not of this world, and yet, thanks to a certain green scientist, has been able to remain with his love through special golden bands. As have others such as Sonic, the world's fastest hedgehog, Amy, the world's most obsessed with the world's fastest hedgehog, Tails, the world's best friend to the world's fastest hedgehog, and a few others associated with the world's fastest hedgehog.

Speaking of which, those three would be arriving to the reconstructed house early in the morning. It had been two years since the marriage, and two years since they've met. Neither of the groups missed each other, but it's been such a long time that it is traditional to strike up a petty conversation over a few cups of coffee. The children would be watched by a bigger child, (we mean Spenser), while the 'adults' exchange stories and awkward laughter. The infant, of course too young and fragile to be trusted by someone of the Shepherd's stature, would be seated beside Silver. That was the married couple's plan. Scourge would have no part of it. (He hasn't quite gotten over his fear of being tackled into an involuntary hug by anyone other than Spenser, _and_ intended to stay away from Sonic.)

During this time, Spenser would be caring for three children of the ages eight, four, and six. Their names are Tihocan, Pookey, and Adam, (his name being last because it's the normal one.) Regardless, the three are a handful, especially little Tihocan, who seems to draw unwanted attention from a parallel universe, (Spenser believes it to be his birthplace.) The oldest child, the one spoken of in the previous sentence, has a strange appearance, (a mixture of both Shadow and Silver.) He's a hedgehog with three upright fringes and two quills on each side of his head that curve upward. His eyes are pink, which is quite humorous to the yellow nuisance of a dog, and his fur is a dark grey color. Not quite black, but grey.

Pookey, the youngest and only female save for the infant, is a cute pale pink kitten with ears that are always bent backward, as if she had done something wrong. Her eyes are a pretty light blue color that matches the equally pretty dress she wears. It's got lace on the sleeves and underside, almost Lolita-style, but much too happy.

Adam, the normal one, was a red fox with a black tail. He always wears a baseball cap that shades his dark brown eyes. His muzzle is a white color, which doesn't explain how his tail ended up the way it did. Spenser often wonders if he even is a fox, but he's usually too distracted to delve any further into the subject.

Let's see…did we forget anything? We went over the sky, and the house, and the ship…the kids, and the Sonic, and the two years, and the marriage, and the yellow nuisance of a dog… Yep. That's it.

"Wake up." The ivory hedgehog playfully tickled the bottom of Spenser's foot, causing him to scream and fall out of the couch. "Go get dressed. Breakfast will be ready in twenty minutes." The green scientist on the opposite sofa sat upright.

"Damn, already?" He yawned and picked up his jacket. "Spenser. Go get me a glass of water."

"Kay." He was commanded these simple lazy tasks all the time, and obeyed. It wasn't like him to turn down something his boss wanted, especially since he was a loyal German Shepherd.

Spenser entered the kitchen with a brisk walk, bumping to Shadow as he did. "Watch where you're going!"

The Shepherd narrowed his eyes. His voice suddenly became stern. "I was going to wait until later to break the fourth wall, but I'm going to do it now for your sake. This is a fictional story written by someone who happens to be _me_. One wrong move and I swear this'll be the last piece of crap you'll ever star in." The two never had a good relationship. In fact, Spenser hated Shadow for reasons that will later be portrayed in a more ridiculous manner. "So, _you_ watch where you're going." His goofy smile suddenly returned. "Mm'kay, have a nice day."

Shadow, having received such threats quite often, merely shrugged and entered the living room Scourge occupied. "Thanks." As he did, his soda was snatched out of his hand. The ebony husband stopped in his tracks and gave the scientist a harsh side glare. But, he decided not to fight back. Over the past few months he's learned it only got him into more trouble.

"Here-" Spenser ears flattened as he noticed the Coke his boss was holding. "Aww, I thought you wanted water." Seeing a perfect opportunity to drink something without having to make his way back into the kitchen and greet his spouse, he took the drink from the yellow nuisance of a dog. "Hey!"

"Darn," he mumbled, glancing into the cup. "There's no ice." He let out a heavy sigh as he made his way back into the kitchen.

His spouse was in front of the stove, flipping over an almost perfectly round pancake. He placed the pan down and turned to a pot beside him. It was most likely filled with ramen noodles. Silver was the type that didn't much enjoy breakfast. He normally made something special for his family and a small bowl of simple-ness for himself. "Shadow, can you give me a hand?" He didn't need to know who was in the room – His spouse's quietness proved it was him.

"Yeah," he said, disappointed. The ebony hedgehog set down his drink and took one of the awaiting plates, but was stopped.

"You don't have to do anything if you're _that_ lazy."

"Aww, c'mon," he spoke softly and placed an arm around Silver's shoulders. "I would never refuse to help you." He leaned in close to his spouse with a growing smile. Unfortunately, the ivory hedgehog pushed him away and turned his attention back to the stove. Shadow didn't give up that easily when wanting affection. He hugged his husband from behind and trailed kisses up his neck.

"Shadow, not now." He struggled free. "Sonic's coming over and I need to make sure everything is ready." A faint cry from an infant brought a frown to Silver's face. "Oh. Can you finish stirring the noodles?" He took a door opposite of the living room.

The ebony hedgehog shook his head and removed the pot from the stove. "Damn kid always ruins my morning," he mumbled under his breath as he poured the steaming soup into a waiting bowl.

Spenser caught his attention by twirling into the room with an overly happy grin. "Something smells good."

"Aren't you supposed to be with the kids?"

The dog shrugged. "Eh, they know not to stick their fingers in electrical outlets."

"Did you tell them not to?"

"Pssh," he chuckled, "Of course not! Kids need to learn to grow up with common sense."

Shadow's eyes widened slightly. Though heartless and oftentimes uncaring, his life with the lovely ivory hedgehog has created a soft spot in his heart. "What?" He placed the bowl down in a worried manner.

"They learn by experience! Everyone learns that way."

"But, they're children!"

"Children have rights too! Just like zombies!"

"Zombies don't have rights!"

"Well," he took a dramatic pause and pouted slightly, "They should!"

"Ugh, Spenser!" He exited the way his spouse went and bolted up the stairs.

"Zombies will have rights by the end of this story!" He followed the ebony hedgehog to the steps and shook his fist in the air.

"Don't do it!" He burst into the door, scaring the three children awake. His heartbeat quickly returned to normal as he noticed the groggy glances he was receiving.

"Uncle Shadow, why did you wake us?" The young girl rubbed one of her eyes.

"Uh," he noticed Silver standing behind him, "Nevermind." His voice became gentle. "You kids need to get up now. We'll have company over in another hour or so."

Tihocan slid out of bed. He was always a morning person. "Will we be meeting them?"

"Huh, well," he paused and glanced over his shoulder at his spouse, who was holding a cream colored bundle. "A little help?"

Silver sighed. "We just don't want you to be around these people."

"Why?" The young girl's voice was cheerier. "Are they like Uncle Scourgey?"

"Somewhat." He mentioned with his head for Shadow to leave the room, who complied and returned to the kitchen where Spenser still remained. He was, of course, stuffing his face with cooked bacon and placing more into the pan for himself.

"Spenser, why?" He crossed his arms.

"Vut?" He paused to swallow the food so he could speak properly. "Well, if you guys aren't going to feed me, I'm going to feed myself."

Shadow was going to argue, but figured it best to keep quiet and fetch the ice he had wanted fifteen minutes ago. He did so and took a seat on the couch the Shepherd slept upon. Scourge was rubbing the back of his sore neck, not paying much attention to the other hedgehog's presence. "Where are you going while Sonic is here?"

"Hmm?" He still seemed sleepy as his reaction timing was horribly offset. "Uh, I'll probably just hang out with Spenser in the back."

"In that hammock?" It was customized to fit Scourge's need to sleep during the day, and located directly under a place where the sun shone most.

"The net for lazy people!" Spenser waltzed in with a stupid remark and sat beside his master as he finished his plate of bacon.

"Quite," he sighed, stretching his arms above his head. "Just so long as Sonic doesn't know I exist, we'll be fine." He snatched a few strips of bacon from the plate. Spenser didn't mind – He couldn't, or else risk being harshly backhanded. "Well, let's go Spense."

"Shouldn't we wait for the kids?" He spoke with a mouthful of food, surprisingly not spewing chewed bits of bacon everywhere.

"Nah," Shadow said, leaning back with his dirty feet upon the table. "I'll send them out."

As the two took their leave, a very angry and fatherly ivory hedgehog entered the room and smacked his husband with a filthy, wet dish towel. The force of this smacking was so powerful that it knocked his spouse's head back, giving him a rather annoyingly sore neck.

"Ouch!" he cried, holding his nose. "Silver, what the hell was that for?"

"Get your feet off the table and give me a hand in the kitchen." One would suppose that this type of behavior oftentimes occurred in front of the young children, as they, oftentimes, playfully roughed around with each other in a similar manner. Why this style of parenting continues to exist within the reconstructed house continues to elude us.

"Tihocan, no," he said, hoisting the child away from the hazardous cliff. Spenser set him down near the hammock. "You're still too young to play with cliffs."

"How old do I need to be, then?" He looked up with curious eyes.

"Uh," he paused briefly, thinking. "Two hundred and thirty-eight."

"Oh, wow." He cast his gaze to his feet, not able to believe the Shepherd.

"Uncle Spenser!" Pookey, the young girl with the pretty blue eyes, rushed up to him with tears streaming down her face. "Adam took my dolls!"

"What?" He stormed over to where the fox was. "Adam! Men don't play with dolls!"

"But, I was just-"

"No! Here," he handed the child the keys to his bright red, eco-friendly, Hummer deemed Betsy. "Now, go drive Betsy like a real man!"

"I'm six!" He refused to take the key ring.

"So? I learned how to drive fighter planes when I was your age! Now, go," he shoved the keys into the child's hand and pushed him away, all the time saying, "And take Tihocan with you!"

Back inside the larger, reconstructed, two-story house, Silver and spouse had just finished setting the table, when a faint ring of the doorbell was heard. Shadow wiped his hands on the dirty dish towel and answered the door.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm going to go ahead and accept your guys' fan characters for cameo appearances again. Basically what happens is you send me a brief profile of your character, including name, age, species, and all that important crap, (I don't need his // her history, so don't add that), and **message** **or e-mail** it to me. Then, they'll appear in a chapter for a few paragraphs, do some stupid shit, and randomly disappear. _However_, this time I'm doing something different than before. If you want to see your character do something specifically, (ie. Pour liquid caramel into Spenser's fur while he's asleep), then I'll fit that in. If you have any other questions about this, leave a review or message me.

**LOTUS GAVE UP ON CHAPTER TITLES**

Did you expect to see Sonic and his friends at the door? Well, good, because they were. He, along with Amy and Tails, stepped into the house with bright smiles that seemed out of place in their household.

"Hey, you finally moved out of Blaze's castle." Sonic glanced around and placed his hands on anything that he deemed touchable. "Nice place. Hey, what's this?" He was suddenly smacked with a dirty dish towel that left him with a rather annoyingly sore neck. "Ow! Not cool, Silver!"

"I never gave you permission to touch anything." He stepped back and crossed his arms with the dirty dish towel still in his hands.

"Sonic, what did we talk about before we came here?" Amy had grown, but not by much. And, mentally, not at all.

"About how we're _not_ married and how you should stop talking to me like we are." He returned her cold stare, having had enough of her antics, though they were still good friends.

"Just be nice," said she as she adverted her gaze. She had given up arguing, at least in public.

"So," Tails avoided standing too close to anything to keep from being hit with the dirty dish towel. "Where's Scourge and Spenser?"

Sonic glanced around again. "And, where's all the other kids we've been hearing about?"

Silver shot a look at his spouse, who responded with such a quick shoulder shrug that it seemed like a twitch. "Uh, they're out back, but breakfast is ready so let's eat first!" He said the latter swiftly, changing the subject.

"Awesome! I'm starving." Sonic found his way into the dining room beyond the kitchen. "Whoo, that's a big meal." He was already stuffing his face when the others sat down.

There's quite a lot to be said about the food that was prepared for them. Since the pretty ivory hedgehog resides on Omorui Island, deemed so by his daddy, they do not have the materials necessary to enjoy delicacies such as bacon, eggs, and sausage. And, also unlike our selfish human race, they've not really understood the taste of pork. Not saying that they haven't actually eaten it.

You see, back before Sonic's birth, pork was available in the store. But, it was very controversial on whether or not they should be eating their neighbors. Some said, 'Yes! There's nothing quite wrong with it as long as we mind our manners!' While others said, 'No! It's cannibalism!' Naturally pork was banned, and it was no surprise that the winning team was made up of filthy, squealing pigs.

"So, how've you been, Sonic?" Silver placed his fork down and folded his hands before him. He always believed manners to be an important part of a functioning society. Unfortunately, no one else in the household seemed to give a rat's ass.

"Great! I learned some new kung fu moves! I bet I could kick Scourge's butt in a fight now!" He pointed his fork at Shadow and eyed him. "I could do the same to you."

The ebony hedgehog continued eating like normal. "You can't even land a hit on Amy."

Sonic gave an uncaring shrug. "Pssh, she's a girl. I don't hit girls."

Shadow stopped and placed his fork down. "You're not too bright, are you Faker?" They narrowed their eyes at each other, neither blinking.

"Well, um," Silver turned to Amy with a smile. He hoped their ridiculous feud was over now that Shadow had married. "How about you, Amy? Anything new?"

Her precious smile faded and she spoke with a dark voice. "Don't talk to me." She turned back to her food.

He glanced at Tails, who shrugged a single shoulder with a small, apologetic smile. "I hope all of you are enjoying your breakfast," he said, a little annoyed. "Spenser brought everything from Earth."

For some reason, the air became heavier as everyone placed down their silverware, save for Shadow and Silver, who were momentarily confused. "E-Earth?" Sonic spat out the bacon he had in his mouth. "You mean you're feeding us pork?"

"It's not illegal on their planet." The ebony hedgehog was rather uncaring. "I don't see anything wrong with it."

"Aw, dude!" The cobalt hero jumped out of his chair. "I know people who are pigs – Man, that's nasty!" He coughed a few times before running out to find a bathroom.

"Tails glanced down at his plate. "Well…it's not _that_ bad." He didn't want to admit that he rather enjoyed the taste of meat. Amy exited, following her self-proclaimed boyfriend.

Silver pushed his plate away with his fork. "Why don't we just skip breakfast, then?" A soft infant's cry alerted the ivory hedgehog to the other room.

Shadow continued eating. "You're all a bunch of pussies."

Outside, beyond the swimming pool, Spenser was, very poorly, teaching young Adam and Tihocan how to drive. After having explained what the phrase, 'Hey I drive stick, do you?' means, he proceeded to show them how to execute the proper right turn.

"Uncle Spenser! My foot cant' reach the pedals!"

"That's why I gave you that wooden block. Now, don't worry about switching to the other one to stop – That's what the emergency brake it for." He pulled it up to demonstrate, but it snapped off. "Ah well, you'll never use it anyway. Here, let me show you."

All of the unnecessary commotion awoke a sleeping green scientist. He rather enjoys his naps, and is often quite upset when woken during the day. Needless to say, Spenser would be in for an annoying earful of obscene words and harsh vocabulary. But, we will not linger on whether verbal abuse is exactly proper for training a disgruntled dog.

The couple and their guests eventually migrated into the living room, where petty conversation that no one could recall by evening would take place. A chrome tray was placed on the table that contained small white cups of sugar and cream. Sonic didn't much rather enjoy the taste of coffee, but took a small sip just to be polite.

"So," he paused to gag slightly and placed the cup down. "What's with the baby?"

The ivory hedgehog was holding that same cream-colored bundle. Inside contained an anthropomorphic Border Collie puppy no more than two weeks old. Her nose was still bright pink. The muzzle was white while her face has patches of black around her unopened eyes connecting to thick stripes of the same shade that attached to her back fur design, which was also black. She oftentimes wrapped her small fingers around Silver's, and captured the heart of a once careless ebony spouse.

"What do you mean?" Silver was very protective, and didn't feel comfortable speaking about her.

So the careless ebony hedgehog spoke up. "We got her from the orphanage. They didn't have any room for her, nor the money to purchase the correct formula. So we took her in. She's really quite during the afternoon. But…not so any other time."

Amy was suddenly interested in their conversation. "Aw, poor Shadow. He'll never be able to have children like me and Sonic."

The blue hedgehog cringed. "I'd rather shove my penis in a blender." His words earned a small chuckle from Tails.

"What's her name?" The fox stood to get a better look.

Silver held the child close to his chest, paranoid one wrong look would mentally scar her, though she still couldn't see to begin with. "Her name is Pandora." His small hedgehog ears folded back in a threatening way as Tails stepped forward.

"He's crazy when it comes to her," Shadow warned, "If I were you, I'd back off." He'd tell them about what happened when Spenser held her, but no one honestly cared about the Shepherd. The fox sat down.

At that moment in time, and perhaps a fraction of a second after Tails' bottom hit the cushion, a screeching sound made all of them jump. Soon after, the bright red, eco-friendly, (as to avoid complaints from environmentalists), Hummer known as Betsy came crashing through the front door. Spenser was at the wheel.

"Oh! Uh, hey guys!" He glanced around, realizing he wasn't quite where he should be. "Sorry everyone. Betsy just wanted a cup of coffee." The vehicle's headlights blinked twice, indicating that the dog was lying. "Sorry for the scare," he said, shifting gears. The bright red, eco-friendly Hummer backed out of the house and returned to the garage.

Speaking of which, let's switch our own gears for a moment while they recover. Now, obviously, this lovely group isn't alone on the oddly-name island. Save for daddy Ellsworth, there is one more character that has an important function within the plot of this story. Not as important as the others, however, which gives us the freedom to reduce her salary and spend the saved money on more useful things like a new, unnecessary desktop computer.

Naturally, we're talking about Princess Blaze, (the cat.) Having found a way back to her original world from that of Sonic Rush, Blaze's temperament has been, well, altered. No longer is she the strong, mother-like, best friend of a certain feminine and happily married ivory hedgehog, but rather an 'everyone-is-an-idiot-but-me' personality. Courage is needed to be a good leader, and she oftentimes does that rather well. Yet, with nothing to express this bravery, she's become bored with her life.

So what precisely does this have to do with the now re-reconstructed house and the adults whom names all being with the letter 's'? Blaze, like most of the crazed females and mary sues roaming Mobius and its different forms, believes a friendship never dies. And thus, she wishes to move to a more populated area along with Silver and his family. Unfortunately, he really doesn't want to go with her.

Now, understand this: poor, fatherly Silver was never truly accepted into society. As a child he was weak and frail, both mentally and physically. He was harassed, beaten, teased, and pushed around by older, stronger, faster hedgehogs. So generally, he doesn't want the same to happen with his children and would rather have them live in a small village as such than an overpopulated city. Blaze is stubborn, however, and is currently on her way to persuade the members of the re-reconstructed house, and, unbeknownst to her, their guests.

Who were, at this time, still clinging to their seats from the horrid event that just plagued them. The married couple seemed unnerved, as this sort of stuff happens almost daily. "Does anyone want more coffee?"

"Coffee?" Sonic was rather annoyed by this odd gesture. "I was almost run over and you're offering me coffee?"

Silver stood, returning baby Pandora to a nearby crib to continue her nap. "I've got tea."

"Oh, what kind?" His voice suddenly turned from angered to interested.

"I'm not sure. I think I still have a box of Japanese green tea left in the kitchen." The two made their leave.

Tea and coffee is not available on Mobius, (not yet at least), so the gang depends on Scourge and Spenser's monthly trips to Earth for food and, namely, entertainment. The Shepherd is a big buyer of video games and gaming devices for a certain Xbox 360 dubbed 'Mr. Hax0rz.' It had a shiny black finish with beer bottles and skulls on the side in a random design. Its name is plated on the face. But, therein lies another problem for the family: money. Americans are very greedy, as is the rest of Earth, and unlike Mobians who measure products in bountiful 'rings', they have their own odd form of currency.

It's paper, which doesn't seem to make much sense to them. Why is a material that is so important to the environment and everyday life used as currency? Regardless of their beliefs, they need that money for the products. Whether they receive a paycheck from a daily eight-hour shift, or take it from someone else is confidential. Whatever tactic they use, it seems to work very well. Scourge believes it to be because humans are incredibly stupid.

"Hey, are you guys making tea?" Spenser poked his head in though the open kitchen window. "What kind? You should give Spenser some."

The ivory hedgehog resisted the urge to smack him with the dirty dish towel. "_After_ you fix my living room."

"Aww," he whined, ears bent back. "But, it was Betsy's fault!"

"Spenser." He dragged the name out in a threatening tone.

"KayKay. I'll fix it." He left to seek out Scourge's cunning mind. It was filled with excuses that could easily get him out of such a situation.

We haven't much gotten into anything quite funny, have we? No, not yet exactly. But, we've much in store for readers of this story: family visits to Earth, a romantic week alone for the married couple, a zombie outbreak, and rather a handful more of things. Thus being, our tale shall be longer, yet not by much, than our previous failures. But, before we move from the petty coffee and biscuits, there's one more thing we need to do.

Later in the day, while the ebony husband was repairing the living room wall and the Shepherd was relaxing upstairs in his room with a horror game called '_Dead Space_', something odd happened. His screen flickered. The words 'Game Over' in colorful lettering had interrupted his game. He straightened himself and cocked an eyebrow, wondering what improbable situation was going to befall him. Evil laughter echoed throughout the room.

"Ah!" He jumped backward as the television set exploded. In its place stood a brown fox. He threw his head back and laughed wildly. "OMG." Spenser oftentimes spelled things out as such rather than slenderizing religion. "It's Ben! He's back from the dead to destroy me!"

"I never died!" Spenser bit his bottom lip to keep him from saying anything stupid. "I am impervious…to…death and…other things…" His voice trailed off and he went cross-eyed, having confused himself. After a minute or two of awkward silence, the Shepherd tried to step back, but his rival's sudden evil laughter caused him to jump. "Bwahahahaha…ah…ah…AH-CHOO!" Out of those poor, tortured nostrils came a sharp, double-edged sword.

They both stared at it, dumbfounded. "Does that happen often?" Spenser pointed.

"Quite recently, yes." Ben's brain clicked as he realized he could use such a weapon to slay his opponent.

And, he did.

But, as Ben continued to gaze upon the blood that had spilled due to Spenser, he realized something: his beautiful hooded sweatshirt would get blood upon it, and perhaps soak into his equally beautiful grey shirt. So, he tossed the sword over his shoulder, puffed up his cheeks, and spat out a large green and white umbrella. Now, with the proper protection, he could move on to killing the remainder of the house.

Don't worry, Spenser will be fine. He has a respawn point in the basement. As will the other adults whose names all begin with the letter 's'. And, why is that? Because at that very moment, something improbable happened: Ben, as much of an ass kicker as he was, had combusted into flames. Which is rather ironic since he wanted to keep his clothes tidy.

* * *

**Lise-chan:: **Lawl, yeah. Spenser's the worst babysittier ever. Thanks for commenting.

**Solunea::** OMG. Don't remind me about the other two. They're horrible. I hate them. But, I'm glad you like this. Thanks for reviewing.

**Crazy Muffin Assassin:: **They yo momma's kids. Lawl, they're orphans. I guess I should've explained that. Thanks for the review! xD

**IluvSilverShadow:: **I don't think you'd want Spenser near you at all. He's just one of those people you admire from afar. LOL. Thanks for reviewing this, means alot!

**Sukaiburu Kitsune:: **A~WUT? No way - That's all you type. Psssssssshhh, girl I type 10k words a day at least. C'mon and exercise dem fingers! (That's what she said.) I want Spenser to be my brother. So I can lawl at him when he does something stupid. OMG, he'd be the best big brother eva. Thanks for reviewing!


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